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似水年华1月3日 新年不想在这里灌水的，可是在机场很用心写的一篇文章丢了，所以只好随便说两句。
这次在南京呆了11天，虽然还不时的被老板安排干活，却十分开心。
由于假期很短，所以格外的珍惜。这11天中，见到了很多想见的人，做了许多想做的事情，感谢所有多年如初的朋友们。当然也留下了不少遗憾，希望这些遗憾能变成下次的约定。。。^_^
之前每年几乎都会写new year resolution, 然后发现每年写的都是一样的。。。我不会因为写下了几句话就突然变的有决心。所以今年索性不写了，因为我现在真的很开心，让今后所有的改变都顺其自然吧
最好的礼物，还是和哥哥妹妹一起度过的圣诞和新年。亲情的温暖让我感受到了最大的幸福！
希望大家一切都好，在2007年里活出最精彩的自我。
11月23日 Big thanksgiving dinnerYes, I know I haven't written anything here in ages. Now it has been almost too late to catch up. But just bear with me for now, if I ever get the time to write about the interesting events I have gone through since March
Anyhow, today is Thanksgiving. It is a holiday you hardly feel about outside of the US. This is the first Thanksgiving I spent by myself, in the sense that I was sitting in my apartment, sipping soup that I brought back from Causeway Bay. Since yesterday afternoon I got this fever and it has gone worse, until this morning I discovered that I was unable to get up and go to work. For most of the time, it should be a wonderful thing that I appreciate, not this time. Then I realized that sick leave is only fortunate when you take it without being sick. It really isn't fun sitting in the apartment all day staring at the TV and watching "You've Got Mail" over and over again, which is the only DVD I own right now before unpacking. To make matters worse, the electricity went off twice during the day, each time gives me a reason to start the movie all over again.
Then the evening comes, with my stomach growling and no take out menus at hand, I finally made up my mind to take my excursion to Causeway Bay---a place where I know for sure there is food, and not too far away. As I walk down the streets passing shops after shops, I realize this is a bad idea. I am not even slightly interested in going into any of the shops, and that, for those of you who know me, rarely happens. Still with a temperature and a spinning head, I really would rather just lie on my bed and watch something that I have seen a million times. So, I got soups at a restaurant that I eat all the time---this is not the time for creativity either, hopped into a cab and came back.
Then, a couple of moments later, I am sitting at my desk, "You've Got Mail" playing on my TV, and I'm drinking soup, hoping that I feel better soon because I know I had to go to work tomorrow. Suddenly I realize that this is my big thanksgiving dinner, and there I was, holding some real delicious food in my hand---I don't have to worry about how much they cost, and yet, I do not know what I am thankful for...
3月3日 脆弱将一根弦绷紧，看似它是比松弛的时候更有力量。其实，在展示它力量的同时也暴露了脆弱。
有些本质，终究是隐藏不住的。压抑得过久就随时迸发。
有时候想，一直往前走的时候，忽略了两边的风景，恐怕到了终点才发现不再认识自己。后来发现，这其实是一种自我保护。因为一旦停下来脚步，就会被夺走，轻松的，瞬间的，不留痕迹，怎么挣扎都是徒劳。陌生到底好过失去。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。 2月14日 ValentineThis is my fourth and last year in college. It is also the fourth Valentine's Day that the only chocolate I ate is from my school's dining hall. Now I am fully convinced that there is something wrong with my life.
I share mail box with two other people, and today it got stuck when I was opening it. There was a bag of chocolate and a package. I ignored them, just as I ignored the long line of people outside of the post office, waiting to get their roses. Two people who I don't know came up and congratulated me on my v-monologue performance on Friday. I was happy. "It's a better V-day present than roses." I say to myself.
I learnt not to get my hopes up before all these "romantic" days. I consider it as a great way to avoid disappointment, depression, sadness, and all that. Today, I saw one of my friends changed his screenname to "full of expectations". I am thinking, maybe it is time I embrace a more active approach to life as well.
Hope everyone had a magical and unforgetable V-Day! 1月29日 Spring FestivalStill remember my first Spring Festival here at Bates. I was excited about it for a whole month. I sat there and watched the entire wan hui loyally. It was a Wednesday. I sent emails to all my professors, asking to be excused from classes, so that I can call home...
I was proud to tell others that I watch the wan hui every single year, beginning to end, wherever I am. Got one comment "春节晚会是给农民兄弟和海外华人看的。“
True. If you have other ways to celebrate, you won't choose to sit there and watch tv for an entire night. I envy him for being able to say that.
I think the festival just an excuse for people to say hello to friends who they almost forgotten, or have long talks with friends who you haven't contacted for a while. ;)
Only when I saw the morning sunshine coming through my window did I realize how long I had talked on the phone. But the familiar feeling seemed to have brought me back to my freshman year. Only now, time and experiences have brought us closer, spiritually.
The last time we talked like this was more than one year ago. So many things have happened for both of us and our minds became close to the concept of "mature". But we are still have surprisingly similar thoughts on so many things that it amazed me. This conversation meant a lot to me. It reminded me of how life used to be, and it gave me the courage to carry out changes. For that, THANK YOU.
I still believe in miracles, and instead of praying for them to come to me. I am going to make every effort to PURSUE!
1月23日 下雪了前一周天气一直很好，每天早晨被暖暖的太阳唤醒，第一件事就是去看QUAD上的草有没有被雪覆盖。终于可以不用穿雪靴，尽情的享受难得的绿。缅因州在一月份难得能有这样的好天气。不知为什么脑中总是蹦出”多情自古伤离别“。。。
今天的这场雪下得很气魄，大片的雪花夹着冷冷的风。QUAD上的柔嫩的绿色转眼就被白色取代。
等到地上的积雪全部化掉的时候，也是永远离开缅因的时候了。现在的日子，很充实，很开心。忙，却没有压力。但是总觉得每天井井有条的时间表背后是一片的混沌，仿佛那种习惯性的SYSTEM随时可能崩溃。
希望这场厚实的雪能平静下浮躁的心。也把那些“幼稚”和梦，深深的埋在最纯净的雪里。 1月4日 回来了很不顺利的回程，天气大雾加芝加哥电脑系统的问题，直到深夜才回来。从上海到旧金山一路“有幸”坐在一对小夫妻旁边，终于见识了什么叫把人腻死。想戴上耳机闭上眼睛做到非礼勿视，可是要坚持11个小时也太难为我了。。。好不容易到了芝加哥，因为一部电影而特别钟情芝加哥机场，可是今天去一看可谓“横尸遍野”。飞机误点的人横七竖八的睡了一地，买杯STARBUCKS都差点踩到人。。。
MAINE这两天没下雪，天气也没那么冷，但是那种重回现实的感觉还是让人很失落。唯一温暖的是电话机上的一大堆留言，连鞋也不脱就坐下来听，听了好久才听完。在这样特殊的时候，就连一句简单的问候都觉得格外珍贵。
2006年，there can be miracles, when you believe. 11月30日 ~"Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who stays awake to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who pursues you. Who holds your hand because he wants to, and who truly thinks that he is lucky. " 11月26日 Did a couple of those...
piece of advice不管到了世界哪个角落......一定要带桂林西瓜霜喷剂!!!!!!!!!! 11月13日 weekendThis is the first "typical" Bates weekend since I came back. The adjustment from year abroad and all those new york trips have made me confused a quite a while. For sometime I was wondering why I don't get the familiar feeling I had before.
When I was walking across the quad on Saturday afternoon from a dance concert, looking at the soft sunshine falling on the roof of whittier house, cold wind blowing at the leaves reminding me it's winter time, the feelings rushed back. It's not about missing my past two years of Bates life, it's about finding the true "SELF" again. Very very thankful of that. 10月26日 so confusedOne thing that people want is always "more". After the joy of one offer, I feel MORE pressured to find something better within the two weeks. Ironic.
Still proud that I survived last week with two rejections in one day and still showed my smile on the next day. Felt that I am more mature after this. Learnt to set aside certain feelings and concentrate on real stuff.
Anyways, so now the thoughts are whether a large bank or a small boutique, whether NY or London or HK, whether accept this offer and enjoy senior year or go on with the crazy job hunting life........
so confused now and with so many other crazy things going on as well......I need to go home......really soon...... 10月22日 happySINCERE THANKS to everybody who has been so supportive of me in this difficult time. I can't imgaine going through this without you guys. This whole week has been an emotional rollercoaster and I still can't believe that I survived. ^o^
And yes, I will treat dinner some time~~:) 10月5日 stressfulso stressful every single day~~~~about to explode~~~
I hate having stressed out to the largest extend, and still have to come back home for more disappointments every day, but at least that helped me realize that I can rely on myself only, don't COUNT ON others for support or comfort. Be grateful if you get any.
so I appreciate everyone who showed their spiritual support to me these days, that means a lot to me.
9月27日 my daisiesI got my first plant----daisies :)
I thought it would be nice to spent a buck or two on a plant for my single room, to feel that there are other living things besides me.
So I was wandering in Walmart, with a 2-dollar budget in mind, till I saw them-daisies. Yes, I can recognize them among thousands of flowers with one glimpse. The cute little buds shyly smile at me, innocent as a baby.
With no doubt at all, I brought one home. I hope the innocent smiles will comfort my soul and help me go through these tough days. 9月22日 ...I got my first rejection this year, and it's still September.
I will hold up, of course, as always, you have to be tough enough to enter the banking world, that's what other people expect me to be.
But I have been holding back some stuff for quite a while...I just need to pour it out to someone, or something, right now.... 9月19日 中秋从来没有看过这样皎洁的月光。乍一看，都没有办法辨别月亮的形状，亮得刺眼。
”乡愁“ 在这几年已经被说的太多，现在情愿不去想的太多。Don't think about the way things might have been~~~
9月17日 为了忘却的纪念第一次觉得有些事情只剩下痛苦。 以前是因为与美丽的东西对比而产生的痛苦，而现在的感觉，是没有任何美丽可言的痛苦。 这也是头一次真真切切的感觉到，痛苦都是人为造成的，而我却没有任何力量去改变。心灰意冷的感觉。 早就开始察觉到了平凡，从当初的抵触平凡到渐渐的去包容平凡，只是没有想到发展成这样俗不可耐的地步。 终于醒悟： 平凡，是一切的结束。这不由我决定 9月8日 reality?Has everyone been really busy recently or just that I have been extremely free...I didn't expect to start my senior year at Bates with a total mess in my room and a strong sense of homesickness. Then I go off bothering my friends till they have to say the line "I'm quite busy." But I should be as well, homework start to pile up, as well as junk in my room. Instead of doing something about it, I sit by my window, watch people walking on the streets and do nothing. What went wrong?
I still remember the days when I was the "impossible to find". I get so busy in the day that I get up early, eat a huge breakfast which powers me through the whole day, knowing that I won't have time to sit down again till late dinner time.
This is the question that is in my head all summer: how much has that year abroad changed me?
I remember when I get out of the plane in Portland, the first thing I see is a sign "WELCOME HOME", then a little lobster on the right hand side. They must realize that a lot of people getting off the plane are not actually from maine, but I did not feel any objections to that word. In fact, for the first time since last summer, I feel like I was coming to HOME. Coming back to Bates feels like waking up from a dream, back to reality.
So apologies to the people whom I "stalked" recently, I will come back to being myself.
7月31日 hummmSomebody said I do not have the "passion for life" as before.
Shocked me in two ways. First, I never knew I had the "passion for life" in the first place. I learnt about this phrase from the movie "Gone with the Wind". Scarlett was described by Ashley as having the "passion for life that everyone admires". From that moment you can count me as one of her admirers too for her spirit. The dreams is that someday I can be as brave, enthusiastic as her. So you can imagine how I felt when someone told me I was preceived to have that passion and now lost it. So what happened to me?
Then come to think about it. It is true in someways. As time goes by we all got "immune" to certain things. Less and less often we felt those "moments". Then I find myself in my usually "a-Q" again: I start to appreciate little things in life. It is another type of passion. etc. But let's face it. I am gradually losing my image.
hummm...... 7月23日 保佑伦敦一直不想提伦敦发生的事情，可能是因为惨剧离自己太近，而产生莫名的恐惧。在伦敦住了近9个月，早就把自己看成这个城市的一部分。在我眼里，伦敦其实是个宁静的人文的世外桃源，走在大街上，小巷里，或是河边，我的心就慢慢从浮躁中平静下来。一种回家的归属感。我从来不觉得自己是个TOURIST，我是个LONDONER。所以当这种宁静被打破的时候，我害怕了。害怕失去第2个HOME SWEET HOME。
保佑伦敦 |
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Your power color: yellow
And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way
Men notice you light years before you notice them
You see the world with an artist's eye.|
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